No matter how hard I try, I can’t change how I feel toward X. How many of us have tried to change something, but found that most difficult, because a voice in the back of our head said that you can’t do that. I am sure that we have all experienced this little scenario at one time or another. The reason is very simple; these things that we are trying to change were told us by some sort of authority figure and therefore, have been ingrained into our unconscious as being above reproach. In fact, however, these constructs were based upon, other humans, who have the same flaws as you and I. In other words, these statements were created by our fathers, mothers, teachers, preachers, or some other authority figure. In our head, the statements must be true, because these people are in a position of authority, and therefore should know more than we. In reality, the statement is totally flawed because we get to choose where we want to go, how we want to get there, and to whom we want to share it with. This is called free will.
When I was a young person, my father told me that I was a great front runner, but I had difficulty coming from behind. I am sure that he said this because he loved me and wanted me to become a better person, but the way it was presented to me left me with a concept I am still trying to wrestle with. To this day, each time that I achieve something by coming from behind, I still find myself telling my father that he was wrong. Why would he, the idol of my life, tell me something like this? The answer is simple, in his world, he was trying to make me a stronger person when in fact, in my world, I took the statement as fact. That statement, although innately false, was taken as truth, because it was given to me by somebody who was the ultimate authority figure in my life. Remember, you have the ability of free choice and therefore, can negate what other people say based on your own expertise and experience.
One can never do anything, think anything, or act in any way without giving yourself permission to do so. If you would like to change the way you think, or act in a different way one must first find out why you think the way you do. After achieving this revelation, you now have a choice as to whether you would like to continue on the same path or change the way you think, which will change the outcome in which you seek.
Life should not be built on doing things by habit; they should be built on choosing what is best for you, based on your experience, expertise, and advice from those whom you admire. Once all of this information is gathered, you are now able to make a choice as to the direction you would like to go rather than just doing it because somebody in authority told you it was the way to do it.
It ain’t easy, but it sure is rewarding, because in taking charge of your thinking, you take charge of your life.