FORGIVENESS

 

          There comes a very poignant time during the Jewish high holidays in which you verbally ask people for forgiveness.  It is soul-searching, deeply personal moment.   After doing this for many years, I can truly tell you that there is a tremendous relief or lightness that one gets after asking for forgiveness.  Many times we say something, gesture to someone, don’t look at them or do something that the other person perceives as standoffish, rude, or mocking and we are totally unaware of how this affected them.  Asking for forgiveness for all things, known and unknown, has always given me the feeling that I’ve done everything that I could in my power to help ease the discomfort that I might have caused someone.

          When was the last time that you asked yourself for forgiveness?  Remember, you are not perfect, you make mistakes and should therefore, ask yourself for forgiveness.  Most people in this world beat themselves up on a consistent basis because they have either done something wrong, or not acted in the proper way.  By not forgiving yourself, and internalizing this consternation, the ramifications are usually physical or emotional.   Whatever you think of or feel, will eventually express itself in a physical nature.  This is truly one of the reasons why we get sick. By having the ability and self-esteem to forgive yourself for things that you did, you are going a long way to making yourself a healthier and self assured person.  I guess the old adage of”put up or shut up” comes into the picture. Are you able to admit mistakes and ask for forgiveness or are you too wrapped up with ego to admit that you are human.

          Life is a trial and error situation. When one tries to perform a task and is unsuccessful, they will most likely try again.  Each time one tries the task, they change the steps necessary until they find the proper protocol that would lead them to success.   What would happen if you tried something once and failed and never tried again because you would not forgive yourself for screwing it up. Does that make any sense?  It is the same principle at work.

           Through the winding river of life, we are faced with many challenges and situations.  By trial and error we navigate these rapids and usually look back upon our results.  To situations that were successful, reward myself with a strong pat on the back and an internal raised fist bump.  To failures that have encountered, I will recapitulate the steps taken and change the appropriate ones until I reach my positive outcome.   The one thing that I will always do is to forgive myself for doing things in an improper way.  I learned from the failure, I forgive myself for the failure and I move on to higher and better things.

PUT ME IN COACH

            It was 1925, the Yankees regular first baseman, Wally Pip was in a dreadful slump, and a young 23-year-old named Lou Gehrig, replaced him in the lineup. He stayed in that lineup for over 14 years, never missing a game, and became one of the greatest baseball legends of all time.  He was a shy, unassuming, individual who just went about his business.  There were no grandiose or other displays that would call attention to him. He was most effective by just being Lou Gehrig.    This humble, individual became the Yankee captain and was revered by both players and fans alike.  He was, in every way, the quintessential leader. 

          Leaders lead by example.  They have an innate ability to know what to say, when to say it and how to deliver the message.  It could be as simple as a gesture or a resounding pontification of words that brings everyone to their feet. All leaders have an innate ability to be able to motivate themselves from within and the conviction to see the task through. 

          This internal motivation is within each one of us.   It may be covered over by many, many layers of self imposed inadequacy but it does reside in each one of us.  The leadership quality that each one of us possesses is called tenacity or persistence.  We all have the ability to set a goal and minute by minute, day by day proceed along a path to its fruition.  The problem is that most of us don’t allow ourselves to think like that.  We are confined, in our brain, to remain just ordinary, when in fact we are all truly extraordinary.  The operative phrase for this particular blog is that no one can make you do or think anything that you don’t choose-without your own permission.  Each of us fails to realize the potential that we truly have.  We fear to try most things that are new because of the unknown.  It’s really scary out there, especially if you dare to try something that you thought you could not do.  I will guarantee you, that after its accomplishment, your brain will literally explode in excitement of what you just did.

          The true definition for luck is when preparedness and opportunity meet.  You must prepare for your success. You must research and put in your mind the information necessary for your success.  You must think about it, as if it’s already happened, on a consistent basis – try purposeful dreaming.  Get comfortable and picture in your mind the accomplishment of that outcome.  Involve your five senses-seeing, hearing, feeling, tasting and smelling into that scene and feel the warm fuzzies of success.

          We all are leaders of ourselves.  We all have the capacity for greatness. I’m curious, however, to see if you have the determination and tenacity to see your goals come to fruition.  In the beginning, attempt a fairly easy goal and then work your way up.

          Remember, Lou Gehrig, led from within by his conviction and his drive to succeed.  Become the Lou Gehrig of your life and you to will end in your Hall of Fame.