FORGIVENESS

 

          There comes a very poignant time during the Jewish high holidays in which you verbally ask people for forgiveness.  It is soul-searching, deeply personal moment.   After doing this for many years, I can truly tell you that there is a tremendous relief or lightness that one gets after asking for forgiveness.  Many times we say something, gesture to someone, don’t look at them or do something that the other person perceives as standoffish, rude, or mocking and we are totally unaware of how this affected them.  Asking for forgiveness for all things, known and unknown, has always given me the feeling that I’ve done everything that I could in my power to help ease the discomfort that I might have caused someone.

          When was the last time that you asked yourself for forgiveness?  Remember, you are not perfect, you make mistakes and should therefore, ask yourself for forgiveness.  Most people in this world beat themselves up on a consistent basis because they have either done something wrong, or not acted in the proper way.  By not forgiving yourself, and internalizing this consternation, the ramifications are usually physical or emotional.   Whatever you think of or feel, will eventually express itself in a physical nature.  This is truly one of the reasons why we get sick. By having the ability and self-esteem to forgive yourself for things that you did, you are going a long way to making yourself a healthier and self assured person.  I guess the old adage of”put up or shut up” comes into the picture. Are you able to admit mistakes and ask for forgiveness or are you too wrapped up with ego to admit that you are human.

          Life is a trial and error situation. When one tries to perform a task and is unsuccessful, they will most likely try again.  Each time one tries the task, they change the steps necessary until they find the proper protocol that would lead them to success.   What would happen if you tried something once and failed and never tried again because you would not forgive yourself for screwing it up. Does that make any sense?  It is the same principle at work.

           Through the winding river of life, we are faced with many challenges and situations.  By trial and error we navigate these rapids and usually look back upon our results.  To situations that were successful, reward myself with a strong pat on the back and an internal raised fist bump.  To failures that have encountered, I will recapitulate the steps taken and change the appropriate ones until I reach my positive outcome.   The one thing that I will always do is to forgive myself for doing things in an improper way.  I learned from the failure, I forgive myself for the failure and I move on to higher and better things.

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